A Secretary came angrily out of boss cabin

colleague asked: What happened?

She replied: He asked me are you free tonight?

I said-yes & bastard give me 50 pages of work.

Na mujhe kisi ka dil chahiye, na mujhe jamane se koi aas hai, jo apna samajh ke apni girlfriend ki pappi dilwa de  bas aise dost ki talaash hai.

Kabhi hausla bhi azma lena chahiye,
Bure waqt me muskura lena chahiye,
Agar 7ve din bhi khujli na mite to 8ve din naha lena chahiye..!!!

Dosti karo college wali se, pyar karo office wali se, batein karo pados wali se, ankh ladao sali se, love karo dilvali se, AUR MAR KHAO GHARVALI SE.

Paani mein whiskey milao ta nasha chadta hai. Paani mein Rum milao to nasha chadta hai. Paani mein brandy milao to nasha chadta hai. Saala paani mein hi kuch gadbad hai.

Jab tum is duniya se jaoge,
Door kahin ek naya janam paoge,
Is bar galtee se jo hua so hua,
Mujhe yakeen hai agli bar lambi poonch aur 4 taang ke saath aaoge..!!!

Munna bhai: Agar bina danto ka kutta kate to kya karna chahiye...???

Circuit: simple bhai... Bina sui ka injection lene ka..!!!

Mallika went to a swimming pool in a BRA & PANTY.
Guard: Madam here 2 piece costume is not allowed!
Mallika: Kaun sa utaroon?

Girlfriend ko I love u bolna hai or recharge khatam. Ab kya kare? Mein batata hoon kya karein. Theke pe jao, quarter lo, 4 peg maro or g/f k ghar k bahar khade ho k jor se chilaao I Luv U. Kabootar mehenga pad jaayega. Rum ka Paua ab sirf 10 RS mein.

Maalik: Ramu, iss saal tum 4 bar apne dada ke marne ki chutti le chuke ho.
Ramu: Maalik, iss bar meri dadi ki shaadi hai.

Pyar to humein bhi karna tha, par kuch khaas nahi hua. Tajmahal to humein bhi banana tha..
par afsoos ke....


loan pass nahi hua...

Ladki ek aisi paheli hai, kabhi teri to kabhi meri saheli hai.
Kharcha karo to bole "darling, how are you?". Na karo to bole "brother, who are you?".

Mom: Beti badi ho kar kya karogi?
Beti: Kuch nahin... Maan banungi, padhungi, shaadi karungi... aur kya?
Mom: Jo karna hai karo par zara serial order mein karna.

Patient to Doc: Aapne nurse bahut achhi rakhi hai, uska haath lagte hi main theek ho gaya.
Doctor: Jaanta hu, thappad ki awaaz mujhe bhi sunai di thi.

Jise koyal samjhe, woh kauwa nikla. Dosti ke naam par hauwa nikla. Jo roka karte they humein sharab peene se, aaj unki jeb se pauwa nikla.

Jija: Sali ji, aapke yahan ki sabse mash-hoor cheez kaunsi hai?
Sali: Jija ji, jo mash-hoor thi, usey to aap le gaye!

Teacher: Agar apna character sudharna hai to sab auraton ko MAA kaha karo.
Student: Madam is se mera character to theek rahega, par mere baap ka bigad jayega.

What's the difference between wife n neighbours wife?
Wife is a chocolate, can have any time. Neighbour's wife is like an ice-cream, shud hv immediately.

It's the sweetest thing to do. Do it the bed, on a sofa, in the bathroom or anywhere! U must never stop doing it. It's called Prayer! God bless ur naughty mind.

Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends.
You order what you want, then when you see what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that.